Good Morning, Bethany
Your nitrogen particles have coated the earth. I breathe you in today, as every day.
Yes, you are gone.
Yes, with religion goes all hope of afterlife.
You are merely dead.
8 years today, gone.
What ever happened to Robert Robbins, I ask myself. So I google him to see if he is dead or alive, and I can't tell for sure. I read articles I've read before. He is still listed as on death row, I don't know when he's scheduled to die. I could make a phone call, but don't.
http://www.state.ar.us/doc/deathrow.html
http://www.jonesborosun.com/archivedstory.asp?ID=4942
Wading and wading through shit: http://courts.state.ar.us/opinions/2004a/20040226/cr981394.html
Is he dead or no?
Montel's lackey whispered in my ear, "I bet you hate Robert Robbins. I bet you want him to die."
No, i said, not really.
Who is Robert Robbins to me now anyway?
I google Robert Robbins, Robert Robbins Arkansas, Robert Robbins death row, Robert Robbins deceased.
I have never googled Bethany White.
I do now and find nothing about her. Not on the first page, I choose to look no further. Should I put her name by his in the search bar? I think not.
I turn the heater down, I'm suffocating in here, it's so hot.
Today:
Meet with students
Remember to smile
Have nice things to say about their stories
Don't cry
Don't stare off into space
Don't forget to feed the meter
Don't forget to take a shower
or wear a hat at least
Print out forms for MFA meeting
Attend meeting
Pretend to care
Don't stare out the window
Don't look anxiously towards the door
Pick up 16 fiction submissions to read for 9L by Tuesday
Don't cry
Don't run away
Don't talk to anyone about it
Don't say her name
Bethany, Bethany, Bethany Alia White
posted by january girl @ 11:31 AM
9 Comments:
Who are you? I can't believe 8 years have gone by. I googled her name beside his and got you as first hit. I wanted to know. I think I still want to know.
Um, hi. My name is Harmony and I was Bethany's best friend from 7th grade until she died.
Who are you? I am racking my brain trying to think of any Alan's I knew in Arkansas...
I know R Robbins. Where are you?
Who are you? I don't like this much, people bugging me about RR without telling me who they are. :(
Somethings tie those together who never would have remembered each other under different circumstances.
Somethings start with the slightest spark and blaze to disappear in the night.
Somethings end, but never stop replaying themselves.
Somethings always remain.
--kris
I wanted you to know he hasn't been put to death yet. I ran across a piece of his art at a silent auction in Little Rock about a year ago that had been donated through a woman who gets art from death row inmates. I thought my heart stopped for a second.
I didn't know Bethany...I knew him. But with the anniversary coming again soon, I thought you might want to know what I had found out.
-Jenni
Did you know Bethany?
Yes, I am her best friend.
Who are you?
Bethany has not been forgotten. Everytime that song "My Heart Will Go On" is sung on the radio, I think of her, not the children in the school shooting. She reminds me of the star of the movie TiTanic.
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