Oh Dead Blog, How I Have Forsaken Thee

I'm not sure how I ran out of things to say on my blog, just that I did. I suppose my blog has always been rather silly and egomaniacal, and I guess maybe I outgrew that... a little.

I don't have much of interest to say right now other than that I may be the only person alive who can take an IQ test, score a 135, and immediately get pissed off. I doned thoughts I was smarter than that. But then I remember that, of course I'm "brilliant" (as the shady website claimed), but not a genuis or anything by traditional IQ test standards. Emotional Intelligence plays no role in these tests, and that is where I mostly (sometimes painfully) reside.

And you'd think I'd be happy about being brilliant, but not too far up there because I am forever searching for a man who is smarter than me. And sometimes, I think I find them. Then give me a few months with the schmoes and I'm calling them idiots. And this problem, it seems to me, is possibly related to IQ tests and such measures of intelligence. I shall admit, loudly, to the no one who bothers to check this dead blog anymore, that sure, Dan and Ben and others before them might whoop me on an IQ test. But I can't take any pleasure in that fact because I still think none of them are as smart as I am. Not in any well-rounded sense of smart.

Now, this shouldn't be taken as some excessive bragging for bragging's sake, as I'm sure some want to interpret my claims. Oh sure, I'm proud to be oh-so-fucking-painfully-thoughts-of-suicide-inducing smart. Sure, fine. I suppose I am. But the flipside is all the responsibilities that come along with being not only IQ-smart, whatever you want that to mean, but also "emotionally brilliant." I understand people. That's my thing. It's a big part of my life. And these dudes, these dudes with high IQs are fucking emotional retards. So when I meet them, I get all excited about the prospect of someone being smarter than me, but then, no, no they aren't because they are emotionally retarded. Having ten more IQ points than me sure doesn't make up for being 50 emotional IQ points lower than me.

And let's not even talk about how I can file my taxes and find important phone numbers on the internet and day-to-day bullshit like that and that these dudes also seem totally inept in practical realms as well.

So yes, Ben, I still think I'm smarter than you, and I always will. But am I happy about that "fact"? No. I sometimes wish I was dumber on all fronts. Life would be easier and I'd actually have a chance at a relationship with an equal. As it stands now, I appear to have a good chance at forever being frustrated in relationships, unless I change what I want from another person. And I'm strongly considering that option. Maybe looking for IQ/academic smart was the wrong choice all along. Maybe I want artistically and/or emotionally brilliant. Sure, he couldn't be dumb, but he certainly wouldn't need a 135 IQ if he ranked high in other aspects. And what about just plain nice and caring? That would go a long long way with me at this point too. And if a guy was caring and treated me well and had similar interests to me, I'd probably never even worry about who's smarter. What a nice world that would be.